Hello Friends !!! After two long years today I have been inspired by a post from my dear classmate Sweta Chaudhary, titled ' To Be Nice Or Not To Be'. After reading her post the following thoughts came pouring into my mind that I share with you all now.
From the past 5 years I have been pondering over this issue and trying to figure out why some people are nice ( like me ) and why some are not so ( I am sure they are good but here I am particularly referring to greeting !). You wouldn't believe but at one point of time my whole life was revolving around this trivial issue. However I thought that my being nice would be acknowledged and this could in no way cause pain to anyone, until I got to know a different mindset of some people. I agree with you (Sweta ) that good manners are not only because of convent school teachings. But they are because of one's inner feelings. I feel happy and excited to see any known person at any time of the day. And therefore a BIG 'HI ' with a smile comes out spontaneously. Although over a period of time I have realized that some people don't get it right and they become judgmental. I have figured out 3 things they would usually conclude.
1). Here comes the convent girl to flaunt her etiquette -
such people will always feel belittled even if my intentions will never be to
do so. Probably because they were not fortunate enough to experience such
schooling. Or maybe they have some complex within themselves.
2).What’s there to be so happy about ! She must be having
some work – Such thoughts are justified as mostly people become good only when
they have some work.For example , wishing on birthdays in corporate is considered as a marketing practice by consumers who fail to understand that genuinely we like to wish someone on his/her special day.
3). The old behenji
is here. – I don’t understand how greeting somebody can be linked to being
backward. Yes there are ego issues many times as to who will wish whom first
and mostly the one with more concern ( usually the so called backward person ) initiates.
Even after knowing all this I am not able to overcome my ‘
Being Nice’ to everyone because the roots of it have grown very strong over the
years. And unfortunately people around think that it is them who deserve good
treatment.
Not only schooling, the family environment plays a more
important role in inculcating good habits. I see lessons of good habits in
every child’s school books. These are probably the first few lessons that every
child learns in his/her school ,no matter if it is Catholic or not. But how
many kids are able to stick onto these and for how long depends on the external
environmental factors. When I figured out
why some people are not particular about greeting , I came up with this answer.
Some people like to be informal and carefree. They prefer not to take pains.
They feel more close to each other while being informal .They have separate
formal relations where they can show their etiquette .Like may be their work
place. (But my experience in few of my workplaces with few colleagues have been
different ).
So I think it’s all about how you perceive and how much
attention you wish to pay to it. Many of my friends ( since my graduation days
) are trying to convert me into an informal girl and they are failing
repeatedly :P .I have been given titles like “Miss Formality “ , “ Ma’am Apologetic”
etc . Some friends have become formal like me now.And we laugh at this today . It is good that we
understand each other and respect each other’s feelings. Again I would like to
mention that this TRIVIAL thing can never come in-between the strong bonds that
I share with my near and dear ones.
For the world today ‘I
Care A Damn’ Attitude is In ,and ‘Yes ,I Do Care’ Attitude is Out.
But for me only true inner feelings matter.And so do all the
people I have met because God has sent them in my life,and Yes , I proudly
confess , I Do Care for them all.
